Pregnancy can make you vulnerable to emotional swings, which are caused by hormones and physical changes, as well as psychological change. Bouts of depression may increase during pregnancy. Much depends on how the pregnancy effects you emotionally, what the pregnancy means to you, how you deal with your new body image, and the state of your support system. However, how well you take care of yourself physically and emotionally, throughout the course of your pregnancy, can greatly improve your over-all mood. Watch this video to learn about six tricks to help you during this monumental year.
The perfect signal: Why your baby cries & What to do about it!
If you are expecting your first baby, there are many things to look forward to… but also a few things you might find yourself dreading. Like one of those babies who seems to cry all the time! Unfortunately that imaginary dream land where babies never cry is not where you’re headed. Every baby fusses and cries, but there’s a good reason for that! If you learn what a baby’s cry means and how to respond, you will come to appreciate what scientists have dubbed “the perfect signal”: an infant’s cry.
The following information is from Dr. Sears’ website, one of my very favorite sources of information on childcare and the art of attachment parenting!
Did you know that an infants cry is a reflex? A baby doesn’t think, “What can I do now to get Mom’s attention?” His cry is automatic and is easily generated. Once his lungs are full of air, the infant can initiate crying with very little effort. This is an important point, as some people will tell you not to run to comfort your baby every time he cries. “He’s just crying because he knows you’ll come running to you. He’ll learn to manipulate you!” This is not true. A baby’s cry is an automatic response to some sort of need. If he’s crying, he needs you!
A mother is biologically programmed to respond to baby’s cry and give a nurturing response. Fascinating biological changes take place in a mother’s body in response to her infant’s cry. One thing that happens is increased blood flow to a mother’s breasts, accompanied by a biological urge to “pick up and nurse.” Oxytocin, the hormone that causes a mother’s milk to letdown, brings feelings of relaxation and pleasure; a pleasant release from the tension built up by the baby’s cry. These feelings help you love your baby. A mothers who tries to ignore her baby’s cry may find herself getting frustrated and angry. Ignoring your baby’s cry goes against all your natural instincts! It’s easy for someone else to say, “Just let him cry, it won’t hurt him!” They don’t have that biologically connection with your baby that you have.
What happens if you DO ignore your baby’s cries? It depends on your baby’s personality. A more compliant baby gives up and stops crying… yay, you win! But this baby eventually realizes that crying is not worthwhile, and loses the motivation to communicate with his parents. The baby becomes withdrawn and unresponsive. The parents also miss out on opportunities to nurture and get to know their baby.
A baby with a more persistent personality (most high-need babies) does not give up so easily. Instead, he cries louder and keeps escalating his signal, making it more and more disturbing. If you wait it out until he stops crying and then pick him up (thinking that you’ll show him it’s not his crying that got your attention) you will teach the baby that you’re in control, but you also teach him that he has no power to communicate.
The mother responds promptly actually teaches her baby to “cry better!” This baby learns that when he cries, Mommy comes right away, and so his cries are less frantic and disturbing. His environment is sturctured so that there is less need for him to cry; a sensitive mother learns to recognize when he’s tired and ready to sleep, when he’s hungry, bored, or just wants some loving! (And yes, sometimes babies do seem to cry for “no reason”! But at least you’ll know its not because he’s neglected!!)
Studies show that babies who developed a secure attachment and had their cues responded to in a prompt and nurturing way actually became less clingy and demanding as they grow older. There is also no medical evidence that “crying is good for a baby’s lungs.” In fact, the oposite seems to be true. Remember, you can’t spoil a baby by too much loving! Responding quickly and sensitvely to your baby’s cry is the best thing you can do for them at that moment, and it creates healthy communication patterns and a trusting bond that will be enjoyed for the rest of your lives.
Here’s more important information from Dr. Sears on comforting your baby:
11 Ways to Soothe a Fussy Baby
A Checklist of 36 Time-Tested Baby Calmers
3 Reasons Why Babies Fuss
7 Things Parents Should Know About Baby’s Cries
Letting Baby “Cry-it-out” Yes, No!
4 Ways to Teach Baby to “Cry Better”
The Shutdown Syndrome
Comforting the Gassy Baby
8 Dance Steps to comfort baby
6 Ways to Make Baby Dancing Fun
Motherhood isn’t always pretty: Can you be a dedicated mother AND feel like a beautiful woman?
There was a time when eyebrow-tweezing and leg-shaving was part of my daily routine. I straightened my hair and actually thought about what I would wear each morning, instead of groping blindly among the pile of laundry that I hadn’t had time to put away yet. I always wore at least a little bit of make-up. And sometimes I even painted my nails!
And then what happened? It’s not that I stopped caring. It’s just that I had kids, and like many other women, there were no longer enough hours in the day to do everything. Some things had to give. Now, a hungry baby or a toddler with a dirty diaper takes precedence over my personal toilet. These days, I’m lucky if I can brush my teeth and remove my contact lenses before I drop into bed at night, totally wiped out from the day’s activities.
At least I’m in good company. A new report reveals that 77% of moms don’t do enough to take care of themselves:
For many women, an important rite of passage for womanhood is becoming a mother. However all too often, after the baby is born, the focus quickly shifts and the routines that were once rituals are buried in the bottom of the family laundry basket. While it’s not surprising that their children and families come first, a new report of 3,000 U.S. moms reveals that although most (76 percent) agree it’s just as important for mothers to take care of themselves as their families, nearly eight in ten moms don’t do enough.
One of the first things that falls to the wayside seems to be a woman’s personal needs, including the time to indulge in things that make her feel beautiful. 84% of women polled admit that they have let their appearance slide since becoming a mother.
So, can motherhood and womanhood co-exist?
Beauty brand Suave developed the Suave Motherhood vs. Womanhood Report to investigate the trade offs women face when they become moms, the consequences of these sacrifices, and the benefits that occur when moms put themselves back on the to-do list.
The Motherhood vs. Womanhood Report found that:
- Although 67 percent of moms would rather get their pre-baby body back than their pre-baby sex life, exercise opportunities are tough to come by. After shopping for themselves, exercise is the second most desired activity to pursue during coveted “me” time
- 66 percent admit they sometimes don’t have enough time to take a shower or bath
- Some 80 percent have gone weeks or months without a haircut (even though they felt they needed one)
- Over half (53 percent) say that they’ve forgotten to brush their teeth in the morning
“I’ve studied women and family dynamics for more than twenty years, and I’m not surprised that there’s a conflict felt between being a woman and being a mother,” says Professor Gerson. “Despite the rise of busier lives, mothers remain key family caregivers who are relied upon heavily by the whole family. So it’s not surprising that moms often set aside or even forget their own needs. But moms also need to look out for themselves, which means doing things that help them keep an identity of their own apart from the role of mom.”
It’s not surprising that when moms do take care of themselves, they feel happier, more attractive, and more self confident. They feel more feminine and some even feel they are setting their children a good example (I agree!)
Professor Gerson adds “Mothers are caregivers, and taking time for themselves will not change that. Yet it’s important for moms to find opportunities to put themselves on their list of priorities. It comes as no surprise that moms feel happier when they do take this step, and that doing so can have huge benefits for the entire family.”
Infants as Punishment
The Week Daily reports on 17 students at Gloucester High School in Gloucester, Mass., who are pregnant, and none of the girls is older than 16:
“These girls screwed up and their stupidity shouldn’t be excused,” said Steve Booher in the St. Joseph, Mo., News-Press. But that doesn’t mean they should be punished by society. They’ll get punishment enough “in a few months when they have to get up at 2 a.m. to change a dirty diaper and feed a howling infant.”
I’d like to object to anyone calling a newborn infant a “punishment!” I mean, sure these girls are probably clueless about what motherhood entails. And I’m sure they won’t enjoy waking up in the middle of the night more than any other new mother. But a little baby is a precious gift and a blessing. I only hope that these innocent children don’t grow up feeling like thier birth was a punnishment to their mothers!
How much sleep does my baby need?
As a new parent, that’s probably one of your biggest questions. The chart below is copied from Baby Center, and offers some general guidelines as to how many hours of sleep the average child requires at various ages. Of course, every child is different — some need up to two hours more or less sleep than others.
Take a good look, and remember that as your baby grows, he’ll need less and less sleep! Just as you think you’ve established a reliable sleep pattern, you’ll find that your baby has grown a little older and is moving on to the next stage, which includes a little less sleep! If you find your baby is not settling down as easily as he used to at the prescribed times, you might have to space naptime a little farther apart!
| Age | Nighttime Sleep | Daytime Sleep * | Total Sleep |
| 1 month | 8 1/2 | 7 (3) | 15 1/2 |
| 3 months | 10 | 5 (3) | 15 |
| 6 months | 11 | 3 1/4 (2) | 14 1/4 |
| 9 months | 11 | 3 (2) | 14 |
| 12 months | 11 1/4 | 2 1/2 (2) | 13 3/4 |
| 18 months | 11 1/4 | 2 1/4 (1) | 13 1/2 |
| 2 years | 11 | 2 (1) | 13 |
| 3 years | 10 1/2 | 1 1/2 (1) | 12 |
| * number of naps in parentheses | |||
Miracle Baby born after 38-week Ectopic Pregnancy
‘Durga’ means Goddess. It’s also the name of one newborn baby girl, called so because ‘she is our little deity’, said her beaming father, Ravi Thangarajah. Doctors are calling her a ‘miracle baby,’ who’s chances of survival were one in a million.
For nine months, Meera Thangarajah and her husband Ravi were completely unaware their baby was anything but normal. It was only during the birth, at just before full term, that midwives realized the baby had been growing in her mother’s ovary instead of the womb.
An ovarian pregnancy is one of the rarest variations of ectopic (or out of the womb) pregnancies, which can have life-threatening consequences for the mother. Dr. Andrew Miller, who delivered the child by caesarian section in Australia’s Northern Territory, said he never came across anything like it. He said he was astonished that the mother’s ovary did not stretch and break as the child grew, which could have caused deadly internal bleeding. ‘It truly is a miracle she got a living baby out of it – she’s extraordinarily lucky.’ Both baby Durga and her mother are completely healthy.
The extraordinary birth was the culmination of an apparently normal pregnancy, with the parents and doctors never suspecting that anything had gone wrong. There had been no complications during the pregnancy and even regular ultrasound tests had shown nothing unusual. Had doctors realized it was ectopic earlier on, they would have advised the couple to abort the baby. The mother’s ovary could have burst at any time, endangering the lives of both mother and baby.
Indeed, as Dr Miller began performing the operation he could not believe his eyes – the baby was squeezed into the right ovary. The skin was stretched so thin that he could see the baby’s hair and facial features through it.
When Mrs. Thangarajah heard what had happened, she was understandably amazed. “I didn’t know anything about it until I woke up after the Caesarean and the doctors told me. I’m feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.”
Her husband feels the same way. “Not only do I feel lucky – the doctors have told me I’m one of the luckiest of men at the moment.”
Read more about this incredible birth at Daily Mail.
Benefits of Breastfeeding
We all know that breast milk is the ideal food source for young babies. What some people may not realize is that breastfeeding has benefits for the mother and for society as well!
Here are some of the many benefits of breastfeeding, from WomensHealth.gov:
BENEFITS FOR BABY:
- Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother’s milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby’s growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.
- As a result, breastfed infants grow exactly the way they should. They tend to gain less unnecessary weight and to be leaner. This may result in being less overweight later in life.
- Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
- Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.
BENEFITS FOR MOM:
- Nursing uses up extra calories, making it easier to lose the pounds of pregnancy. It also helps the uterus to get back to its original size and lessens any bleeding a woman may have after giving birth.
- Breastfeeding, especially exclusive breastfeeding (no supplementing with formula), delays the return of normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. (However, you should still talk with your doctor or nurse about birth control choices.)
- Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause.
- Breastfeeding makes your life easier. It saves time and money. You do not have to purchase, measure, and mix formula. There are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night!
- A mother can give her baby immediate satisfaction by providing her breast milk when her baby is hungry.
- Breastfeeding requires a mother to take some quiet relaxed time for herself and her baby.
- Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
- Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.
BENEFITS FOR SOCIETY:
- Breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed infants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations.
- Breastfeeding contributes to a more productive workforce. Breastfeeding mothers miss less work, as their infants are sick less often. Employer medical costs also are lower and employee productivity is higher.
- Breastfeeding is better for our environment because there is less trash and plastic waste compared to that produced by formula cans and bottle supplies.
JLo’s crazy germaphobic parenting notions
According to this story on HollyScoop, Jennifer Lopez is really setting out to spoil her twins. Not only has she hired a color therapist and professional baby masseuse to pamper her babies, she has also splurged on “Egyptian cotton cot linen, designer Babygros, diamond-engraved rattles and two small ponies.”
But that’s far from the most disturbing part. The “insider” has confided that JLo is “super-paranoid about hygiene. The twins’ wing is totally sterile and all flowers and presents are stored in a separate room, so they don’t contaminate the babies’ area… All house guests must also use an antiseptic hand lotion and wear surgical masks before they enter the children’s nursery.”
That is just crazy!
According to holistic practitioner Natasha Trenev, author of Probiotics: Nature’s Internal Healers, healthy bacteria such as Bifidobacteria and Bene bacteria guard against bad germs in the large bowel and stimulate weight gain in infants. “What we’ve done environmentally is sterilize everything. Healthy bacteria can’t thrive,” she says. There is no need for the current obssesion with sterilization and cleanliness. “A study done in Sweden and Astonia found that babies raised in sterile hospital environments experienced a six-fold increase in allergies.”
CNN calls it the “Hygiene hypothesis,” which holds that when babies are exposed to germs, it helps them fight allergies and asthma later. The presence of some germs allows babies’ and children’s immune systems to develop properly.
According to a study written up in Time Magazine, more people are coming down with allergies and autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis (MS) than in the past. One theory is that children live in cleaner environments and are exposed to fewer microbes. Researchers report that test subjects who had the greatest number of younger siblings, no more than six years apart in age, were the least likely to develop MS. It seems that the infections they caught from the younger kids helped train their immune system not to attack their own nerves, which is what happens with MS.
It’s also important to understand when and how to use antibiotics. Antibiotics are only effective against bacterial infections (like strep throat) not viruses (like colds or the flu). C.Health states that the overuse of antibacterial products, including soaps, gels, and antibiotics for throat infections and other ailments, can result in stronger germs that are resistant to the effects of antibiotics.
So what’s the bottom line? If your toddler eats food that was dropped on the floor before you have time to snatch it away, don’t worry. Children are perfectly able to eat non-sterilized food and live in non-sterile environments! Even without the scientific evidence, it never made sense to me to be constantly sanitizing every surface your child comes in contact with. The best way to avoid harmful bacteria is simply good, old fashioned soap and water.
Is baby safe around the family dog?
A worried grandmother posted the following question on the ivillage message boards:
“Would you be concerned if your son and daughter in law planned to keep a Pit Bull mix (now 6 mos. old) after finding they are expecting twins? If so, what would your specific concerns be?”
A registered veterinary nurse who currently works in a busy pet emergency hospital answers with mixed feelings. She makes it clear is that “ANY DOG can be dangerous around children, REGARDLESS of breed. Children have been known to have been killed by the family Pomeranian. Cocker Spaniels are NOTORIOUS for biting kids…. A good quality well bred Pit who has been raised in a responsible, caring home, is no more dangerous than any other dog….” In her opinion, there are a few factors to be taken into consideration, including breed, mix, temperament, whether the dog has had obedience training, and whether the dog will be supervised around the baby AT ALL TIMES.
What is your opinion?
